mourning (May 2003)

what somber mood has taken me today? I cannot say..... what sadness is it that says to don the black? taste the bleak? what note worthy and mighty soul do we mourn here? ah now I see..... we're mourning might have beens, those moments in life we can surely never have.....yet, we have never tried to taste them.....what a tragic and somber occasion indeed.....stinks of giving up.....taste the bleak indeed.....

my demons (May 2003)

my demons follow me late at night
in the kitchen crunching ice
in the living room on the couch
always hang around my house
just when I think I can forget
they stumble over with some old regret......

crime (May 2003)

the words you speak just may be true
but why sit still to face love's doom
to never know is not the crime
but to live knowing you never tried

mystery (May 2003)

who lives in enlightenedness
truly....do we....
what sages are there
anywhere,
living or existing
in the guise of wise men....
mad men?
prophet or profit
who can say
and as for you and me....
.mortality ,
makebelieve,
or mindless unending divinity in all life that lives?
in the end what potential do we reach......
are we all bhuddas or devils
in the end mortals or martyrs?

morbid (May 2003)

back and forth the blame is passed the crime commited noone cared.....and in the room there sat a boy surrounded by his broken toys......and back and forth the child is passed whose custody could do him best.....and in the room he sat and sat.....he never was right after that.....he never grew right after that.....they could't watch him....that was that...far too busy how bout that.....so in the end....god took him back

Endured (May 2003)

the shadows I walk in
they comfort me now
I no longer wonder about all my let downs
a light with in the beacon I needed
never again will I be deceived
and all of the darkness
and all of the pain
yes I'd do that all again
because I'd find this truth I'm sure
my life is sweeter for what I've endured

Legacy (May 2003)

my mortality does not bother me
cause my words will be my legacy.....
I will not give up after all this time
and leave the truth I learned behind

shackles (May 2003)

nothing is impossible
improbable of coarse
what can ever be free if not ourselves
ahem
illusions an apt word for shackles that we see
for the demons that bind us are inside you and me

REVOLT (May 2003)

Do not let dispair bind you in it's prison
Be free of the bars of your own division
Cast down the oppressor that burdens you so
and vanquish the power of this terrible foe
Walk free and unfettered with your head held high
and never forget that YOUR LIFE is YOUR PRIZE

Do you dream (November 2004)

Do you dream of disillusion,
Does the sadness make you wake,
Do the things seen all around you
only leave your heart to ache,
Does it seem you only struggle,
while everyone ignores,
all your human needs and frailties,
since their problems are not yours
Do you rouse from your sleeping
and shake your weary head,
After five hours of sleeping
you feel you got no rest,
Does your life come to plague you
each night while you're asleep,
As all your woes and troubles
invade your peaceful dreams,
Is your heart cold and heavy
as you try to pay your bills,
Do you feel like nothing matters
or that nothing ever will,
Well, do not lie there quietly
believing you are doomed
If you truly wish to change your fate
your faith must be in you
Ignore all your doubts
And all those that give you scorn
Wake up every day
Saying this will be my morning
Things will get better
if you have a little hope
You will find nothing changes
if you only sit and mope
If you feel overwhelmed
you must decide to take control
See the good all around you
chase the shadows from your soul
When all the little negatives seem to bring you down
You must remember
you have the power
make a smile from your frown
Do not stop fighting to better things
Do not surrender to despair
and once you find the place of peace
HELP someone else get there

Veteran's day poem (November 2004)

Under your burden
you still stand proud
the weight of duty
has not made you bow
every challenge
you turn and face
you do not shirk
or hesitate
though all you love
is oh so far
in spite of this
there you are
far from comfort
far from home
in heat, or rain,or lonely cold
marching down
through history
doing thankless
yet noble deeds
so that people here
and there can see
the better future
you helped to seed
to men and women far away
and those who came home
and those we'll never see again
and those who's fates we'll never know
no words can offer thanks enough
to those who served unfaltering
we have this meager offering
a day aside where we reflect
on how much we owe you our
RESPECT

* The Old Man (November 2004)

The Old Man sits and reflects
On all his life's many neglects
He sits and wonders as the seasons go
If his life might be different
over might have dones
He ponders quietly for a while
Little Children he once made smile
And how they never call or write
Dropped out of touch with The Old Man's life
In the house all seems swell
The perfect illusion his wife loves well
And all the heartache is never seen
by friends, neighbors, or family
Now grown children
don't call home
don't write ever
and he doesn't know
what exactly it is he did
to irrevocably estrange his kids
He didn't know about
what his wife had done
to drive off his daughter
and his son
She made it clear
to both of his seed
they had no right to voice their needs
to ask for money, help, or deeds
Those things were hers as much as his
how dare they ask
for the toil of her work
or the fruits of labor father did for her
But it was intangible
things they sought
A father's love
his staunch support
Yet because there was
a driving wedge
they dared not
even ask for that
The Old Man sits
with his regrets
things he wanted
but did not get
His gloried hour in the sun
A time he shared with only one
EMPTY
of daughter
DEVOID
of son................


( Can life be filled by only one?)

*no title (November 2004)

If you had the chance
Would you be me
to live with deeds
I have seen
could you set these demons
I have free
would tormented memories
let you be
If you had the chance
would you veiw my dreams
hear my thoughts feel my needs
If you had the chance
to know my soul
would you understand
what made me so
my nature
always contrary so
lover, fighter, mother, poet
If I let you peek
inside my head
would you look
Or look away instead

Ashes on the moon

Live Full of life and vitality knowing that though each moment holds a consequence, that the moment is worth it's price. Savour each moment of life and cherish each change, be it wisdom we gain, or wrinkles, For to ignore any aspect of that experiance called being human robs us of shreds of our humananiy and our very essence, leaving us as Ashes On the Moon, far from the sun, the rain, the wind and any hope of love, Simply be alive rather than being a zombie of fear, life is an adventure, never ending, without the valleys there could be no peaks. -Kae Kelly

August Fires (from 12 years ago)

You made me a promise in August,
But you broke it to keep one with the devil,
You must have believed you were doing the right thing.
I can't see you letting a thing like that take control of your life...
But you... You had to have more...
You said you'd never leave me.
You did'nt you were taken away!
Sometimes I blame myself,
Maybe if I had loved you more?
You used to bring flowers to my recitals,
but you don't show up anymore...
I'd like to believe you're there in spirit,
You had so many dreams,
Even in the end...
And you helped me realize so many of my dreams,
Even though you only got a glimpse of yours.
I understand you never could have been content here...
You always wanted more even before your pact with the dark...
You said you'd love me always that August...
Before your world exploded...
You used to bring flowers to my recitals...
Who would have thought someday I'd bring flowers to yours?
I don't believe in ashes, or dust, or earth, I don't like powder,
You had more than enough for both of us...
And now, I have noone to bring me flowers when I go...
I watch you now in anger born out of love...
Swirling in the flames,
I know you'll end up in flower pot,
When August fires surrender you..... "KK"

anxiety (August 2004)

I am long past wondering what everything means
I'm watching the soap suds wash away dreams
but still I'm not finding that all of the pain
has gone swirling along down the same drain
I'm always so weary from closing my eyes
I can't bear to watch my life passing by
seems all of my efforts were useless attempts
at trying to make this old world make sense

So I lay here this morning awake in my bed
pulling the blankets back over my head
afraid of the monsters under my bed
should I sit here in fear?
am I better off dead?

I'm long past wondering where I went wrong
kept dragging my heels though I knew all along
Life is a race we run till the end
and we never quite know what's around the next bend
each day grows more hectic,
more outta control,
one day I might learn that I've gotta let go

So I lay here this morning awake in my bed
pulling the blankets back over my head
afraid of the monsters under my bed
Do I lay here in fear?
Am I better of dead?

poem from August 19th

Unravelled:
A life
one strand in the fabric of forever
for a while mine was coming unwound
unwoven from the mesh
of the fabric of reality
I could'nt touch the life around me
strands I just could'nt tie in with
I did not feel
could not see
and found it hard to believe
the other strands are touched by me
unravelled though
we lose our strength

poem from September 6th

Cold Embrace:
What emptiness is this ,
where tenderness once was?
Where are the caresses,
turned to unrequited love?
What happened to the laugher,
it dwealt here for so long?
What cold embrace is this,
that I sit here all alone?
Where are the conversations,
we wispered in the bed?
And where is all the giggling,
over silly, crazy, days?
What left the house so empty,
was it something that I said?
Where are the quiet hours,
when I'd wait to greet the dawn?
Where are those silent moments,
when I waited in your arms?
What happened to the lights,
that twinkled in your eyes?
Who's cold embrace is this,
that makes me want to cry...........K.K.