Hate (June 2003)

I am the rage that eats your mind, till nothing good is left behind......
I am the pain that blinds your eyes, pounds your head, and makes you lie......
I am the doubt that lingers there, did anybody ever care?
The voice that keeps you up at night, the adrenaline you know you like......
The urge to crush somebody's life, the little thrill that makes you psyched,
The churning, swirling, in your guts that make you wish you could throw up
The drum that's banging in your heart, feel how invincible you are
I am the one they cannot beat, with me you'll never know defeat
When hypocrites and zealots rant; I pull the strings that make them dance.......

Dear worthy Soul

Lying there spent uncaring
Empty and not daring to utter
the truth of the whole ordeal
What mattered
was shattered somewhere on that broken path
that leads us from your innocence
Who knew how soulless and worthless you felt
In your dismal desperate little hell
so there you lie wrapped in your own tears of rage and frustration
Guilt and humiliation
knowing somewhere you must fit in
Despair comes crashing in again
can it truly be you must always be alone?
These things are not what they seem
People have hurt you
I cannot take that away
But no shame, no guilt,
your mortal frailty is not so hard to wear
Not so heavy as you think
for I know a secret,
You were not meant to walk alone
through this aching and endless seeming eternity
You were not meant to lie at night in anguish
at the empty void in your life
You were menat for far better
for love all encompassing, for your life
and it's unique finger print against the bleak cosmos
to matter to someone
Ah but now for the catch.......
You deserve and are worthy of these things to be sure
But first you must accept it all starts with in you......
Cherish thine own worth......
And then let the world love you as you are
In time you see, we shall.

Cold *

Something cold and empty crept in here
while I was unaware
otherwise occupied with small mundanities of life
which is how this thing slipped by me
I didn't see it, hear it, smell it, or touch it when it came
But I can feel it now in the silence
it is that cold and lingering shadow called doubt
it is all those fears and thoughts I dare not utter
lest they gain power and become real
but despite my best efforts
one of them has slipped through the cracks
to erode the security of my abode
making fissures in my ordinarily well ordered mind
So that I hunt for solutions I should be able to find
and dwell here with me casting suspicion on the future
and all the hope it should hold
this creeping crawling cold